Calm down people, you'll be in for a story the next time!
♥

"Lose yourself in first kiss after first kiss after first kiss. What could be better than one first kiss but a dozen, hundreds, a thousand? She will not be Meg Ryan and you will not be the man that she has been waiting for with flowers and drawers full of her letters, but you will like her enough to try to be. And when your bodies are like fishing hooks sloppily slapping reckless water, place your hand on her chest, tell her that she makes you nervous too. All you will be is sweaty skin and all she will be is racing pulse, but you will be together: young and trying."

Cody Gohl, What I wish I could've told myself about our first kiss

"I don't promise everything will be smooth sailing, but I do promise to stand by you through everything."
You're such a sweetheart love.

从来没有爱得那么认真

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." 
Franklin P. Jones

Haven't feel this happy in such a long time.
Love, we'll make it work this time round.

Three months
I haven't know you for the longest time, but right now it seems like the both of us are in a good place, and that's enough for me.

You taught me a less dysfunctional way of loving someone and being loved in return.
You showed me that loving someone means wanting only the best for them, and I've been trying to do the same thing ever since.
We're both imperfect, but that's alright.
Nine more days to getaway!

You know those arcade motorcycle games where you ride the bike and cross gentry and get a time extension? Yeah it feels like that right now. It feels like I/ we have bought ourselves a little bit more time. The only question bugging me is whether or not this will come to an end eventually.
Still, you are one of my favorite people here and I'm really thankful to have met you. Thank you for trying to cross everything in my wish list before I go back. I can't wait for our getaway to San Antonio during thanksgiving break.

"Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure."
Coelho

Sometimes life has other plans for you.

"Yearning, n. and adj.
At the core of this desire is the belief that everything can be perfect."

David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary


I know from the start that I will be doomed with another heartbreak, but that didn't stop me from trying.
I told you once, and I will tell you again: knowing how it will end is not gonna make me love you any less.
We have less than fifty days to make this count.

"Love is brief, forgetting lasts so long"
Pablo Neruda

What if I fall and hurt myself
would you know how to fix me?
What if I went and lost myself
would you know where to find me?
If I forgot who I am
would you please remind me? oh,
'cos without you things go hazy

My source of insecurity doesn't come from the other girls that are prettier than me that you are on pretty close contact, it comes from the demon inside me that tells me sometimes I'm not good enough for you. That is why the past days have been mental torture. Now you're down with a bug and it really worrying me. Needs to htht again soon.

Loving you feels like learning a foreign language. At first it doesn’t make any sense to me and I don’t understand what I keep doing wrong. I’m flustered and I sound stupid. But the point of learning a language is that the more time you spend with it, the better you get. Being in love with you feels like learning more about you, what you like, what you don’t like. Loving you feels like being out and seeing something that reminds me of you. Love is like being fluent in you.

What it feels to love you- Madison Moore

Being with you is an education. Mostly because you are the first boyfriend-material guy I've fallen for. You don't know how all these couple-y things are all so new to me: taking cute pictures, ending a text with 'love you', you coming over with hot choc when I'm feeling down.. I'm still struggling, because a part of me wants to go all out convincing you and me that we can make this good, and another part of me is still guarding my heart so I don't fall apart when December comes. What am I supposed to do? :(

I watched it begin again.

"You're hallucinating."
"But you're real."
"Yes I am."
"I love you."
"I love you too."

First i-love-you. We were lazing around while you had Greek yogurt on your face because I convinced you that it'll make your skin better. I didn't see it coming, but it was like picking a choice when the only answer is yes. I'm crystal clear about how I feel about you. Time seems to have stopped briefly. After that we went to hunt down for a portable chair for room 295. You spent so much time in the room with me and the girls tt you've become the fifth member of the room.
I wish I can have 500 days and more with you.

"5. The only thing that matters is being with them.

Not that there isn’t a lot to be said for intricate or adventurous outings, but one of the truer signs of love is the utter indifference towards what you are you actually doing, so long as you are with your dearest. The two of you, in fact, are more than content to spend an entire afternoon lying in bed naked, telling each other what you like about each other and generally being vomit-inducing to everyone who is not you. Outside of your little world, nothing exists — just remember to eat at least semi-regular meals in between all of your butterfly kisses."
Chelsea Fagan, Thought Catalog

"We're weak, we're in need, we're in the moment -- but most of all, we're human."
Christopher Hudspeth, Thought Catalog

The boring things 

1. Told x some time ago that I'm looking for someone to do the boring things with me. Its easy to find people to do the fun and exciting things, but not many people are willing to do the boring, mundane, and dull things with you, to see the less-than-glamorous side of you, to be there for you not because they need to/ are obliged to but because they want to. In this very messed up situation of ours, I'm relieved that I can still count on you to do these small and uninteresting things with me.

2. Midterms. One down, two more to go. Studying for midterms is so draining.

3. Astronomy assignment. That stuff is really torturous for me because its so math and physic-y. But I find that listen to the jazz radio channel on Pandora and a cup of hot coffee/tea make it a lot more bearable.


The more interesting things

1. Esperanza/ Centennial break. Cant wait for the long weekend next week. Rice is celebrating its 100th so there's gonna be the Esperanza party (where girls ask boys out), and I'm so excited for that. Other plans include shopping trip, and sleepover at Pooja's place.

2. Field trip. My sociology class had a field trip last week to downtown Houston. It was an eye-opener because inequality is ten times more prevalent here, especially among the African American community, and it saddens me so much. The coming presidential election is gonna be so crucial and nail-biting.

3. Skype. As usual, skyping makes my life so much better. Seeing familiar faces, even if there are x miles away never fails to cheer me up. Skyped vanny on her birthday and just ended an hour of Skype chat with JY who's currently in Amsterdam.

4. Baking for Bakerites. We made banana bread and some chocolate chip and orange cookies yesterday and invited people to come down to the lounge/kitchen to hangout and eat. It was so much fun! We need to make that a more regular occurrence.

Okay yeah my mistake is now official.

I could get used to a life like this with you, morning brunch on a lazy weekend, mugging at your study lounge where the slightest physical contact ignites sparks, you coming over at night with desserts stolen from your servery for my roommates and then all of us catch an episode or two of HIMYM together.
But I cant, because I wont be here forever. And we are running out of time.

I'm torn, and it feels terrible because when I'm finally admitting that I do have feelings for you, I also simultaneously realize that we can never be together. Now we have to figure out what kind of a relationship we can settle for and what kind of a compromise we are willing to make. It will be bad for both of us because we are gonna fall into a vicious cycle of being brutally open and honest, then becoming closer, then wanting more and then realizing that this wouldn't work. I wish we can fall in love like normal people, I wish we can be reckless and not think about consequences, but we can't. Just once I would like an uncomplicated love story that lasts and never give me a heartache.

"Tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall."

Things I'm thankful for this week

1. Roommates. I like our little tradition of taking pictures on photo-booth before every event we went for, I like our Bollywood movie night where we temporarily forget about the mountains of work we have and instead ogle at Hrithik Roshan, I like how we talk about our screw date, and cute boys, and creepy boys, and make plans for Halloween and Christmas.

2. Screw Yer Roommate. This is basically an event where your roommate will set you up for a blind date, dress you (and your screw date) in matching clothes, and you go to the academic quad to search for your other half. So I went with my screw date's gang of friends for dinner and lasertag and it was so much fun. Also got to know a very good looking Singaporean in his senior year doing Poli. It's such a rare thing to find cute looking Poli guy its not even funny.

3. Screw date. On a related note, I'm thankful that my screw date is not some random creepy boy. We hit off pretty well, and we went out once more for dinner in Asian Town yesterday for pho and bubble tea. After that we went back to campus and he showed me some pretty cool places in Rice. He's really the first person I know to write 5pages of text messages consistently because to him that makes it more like a conversation. People are starting to stir us already but it will never happen.

4. Skype. Because seeing some of my favorite people from back home is so comforting. Skyped with Xinhui last week and with van and ngiam this week. It's a good time talking for hours with xhui, finally being updated by vanny about the life I'm missing in SG, and having retarded moments with ngiam when we show off our stash of food in hall and plan for foodhunts for when I'm finally back home.

5. Transition to fall. The weather is getting more chilly which is really nice because it means scorching hot days are now over and I can start wearing boots and trench coats and scarves. And pumpkin spiced latte!!!! second best thing from Starbucks (the best thing is always vanilla latte, which is my standard order for quite a while now).

6. Being in Rice. There are still times where I walk to class and feel extremely overwhelmed and incredibly lucky to be here. I have professors encouraging us to be curious, to never be satisfied when reading a paper and to always probe further. I have talked to lecturers that gave me so many ideas for upcoming paper I can't let them down. I have a mountain of readings waiting for me to read and digest them, but I'm not complaining.
Everyone's telling me to stay for one more semester, and sometimes I wish I can do that.

"Everything you do, you pay for. So if you're going to kiss me, you'd best be prepared to bleed."
i wrote this for you

Finally I have some time to revive this long abandoned space. I've been here for about one month, and aside from occasionally missing the people + the food back home, I think I'm in a good place. Its a hectic life here, but I'm happy.

Things I have been up to the past one month:

1. Visiting Bryan in Stamford. The campus is soooo beautiful.
 

2. Disneyland + Disney California Adventure Park. Still the happiest place on earth.




3. Hollywood- LA.




4. San Diego's Mission Beach. Very lovely. Met a kid who taught me how to catch sand crabs for cheap thrills.


5. Palace of Fine Arts. This is seriously one of the most beautiful place I've ever been to. Did I mention I have a weakness for gorgeous old buildings?



6. Some touristy place. Apparently this is the backdrop for a lot of SF's postcards.


7. Golden gate bridge.






8. Touristy things aside, I'm now residing in Baker College and having an amazing time in Rice. The campus + my college is beautiful! We have a very Harry Potter-ish commons with a lot of wooden furniture and high ceiling and good food. I'm staying in Baker's tower and the room comes with a freaking fireplace. This semester I'm taking International Conflict, Americal Foreign Policy, Sociology of Houston city and an astronomy class. On top of that I'll be auditing for a gender studies class. It's all gonna be good. They say Houston is not the place people want to visit, but it is probably one of the best place to live in. I tend to agree.

9. The roommates. From left: Anjali, me, Gaby, Pooja.

The reason why we all have red stripes on our cheeks was because it was cheer battle that day and Baker's color is red (obviously). They are all three years younger than me but nonetheless extremely intelligent (2 pre-med and 1 pre-law kids!) and we get along really well. Girls' night out last weekend, and for this coming labor day weekend I'm gonna stay over at Gaby's place. Couldn't ask for better roommates.

10. I told quite a few people how this exchange seems to happen at the most appropriate timing, and how desperate I was to just get out from the drama-mama life back home. Well, things are not going according to plan. So, there is this boy. Sometimes I am amazed and amused by the extra mile you go just to make me happy. This is crazy, and I am extremely reluctant to get my heart broken again. So before this all escalates into deeper feelings and all that gooey stuff, we need to talk. And you need to stop being so nice to me.


Most importantly, being here made me realize that the important people will never leave you despite being miles apart. B is missing in the picture ):

I miss you guys so much! Take care everybody, I'll be back home before you know it.

♥ ♥ ♥

我还真舍不得 结束这浪漫的错误

I'm honestly extremely overwhelmed by the things that has been going on with my life, mostly in a good way. Will write again here soon

The roommates confirmed my suspicion. Houston, we have a problem.

You cant make your move when I haven't even have the time to judge your character.
I'm not here to get my heart broken again!

Just saying, worrying for you from 9500miles away is not cool.

甚麼距離都不算是真的分離
想念和默契能代替一切言語
有一天生命會老去　還好謝謝有你
薛凱琪, better me


Hello from SF!

For me now the best feeling is reciprocated good vibes we get from being around each other, maybe that's why our letters for each other sounds pretty much the same. Let's see how long we can keep this up. I hope good things are yet to come.

And if you ask me,
the feeling that I'm feeling is overjoyed,
and it's golden, it goes to show then
the ending of this song should be left alone and so on,
'cause the way it unfolds is yet to be told.

Prettiest friend, Jason Mraz

Love ridden, I've looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I've wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
And baby, I wished for you
Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when it's over
So I can't tonight, baby
No, not baby' anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
My hand won't hold you down no more
The path is clear to follow through
I stood too long in the way of the door
And now I'm giving up on you
No, not baby' anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
No, not baby' anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave

Fiona Apple, Love ridden

"The people in our lives who really care are often forgotten as a constant baseline of life. They are the people who, through thick and thin, will answer our calls and be there to listen when we have something important and, perhaps, boring to say. But their love is often so unglamorous, so necessary to our lives as to be invisible, and the fact that we don’t thank them more for it is nothing short of criminal."
Chelsea Fagan, thought catalog

Thank you for listening to me rant when its way past bedtime.

:')

Goodbye June, hello July.

June wasn't a particularly good month, in fact it was terrible.

The two weeks in Vietnam gave me plenty of time to think about what I want (in the most selfish way), and what I don't want. Letting go wasn't easy, but more than anything it was necessary. Painful, but necessary. And dealing with the aftermath and consequences wasn't a walk in the park either. I'm learning to let go, and it does get a little easier every day. Van's gone for summer exchange and I am not exactly sure how to start talking to b again. Not having the people I'm so comfortable around is not a good feeling, but despite everything I still feel really really blessed for having a bunch of close friends that are always there for me. Old friends like them are gems to me, and I'm never letting them go. And then there's a new friend that I am really thankful for. I never expected us to get along so well. But we do, very comfortably. And I like talking to you. Maybe it's because we are both antisocial kids, so I know that you know I am not good at making conversation, or sustaining one, or initiating meetup, or telling people what is on my mind. I know you are trying to talk a bit more to me, to get me to tell you what's bothering me. I've never told you but I really appreciate all that you've done. And you always know the right things to say.

If anything the past few weeks have showed me that if you care about somebody enough, then it really is not that difficult to make the time and effort to text them, or talk to them, or meetup with them. But at the same time I also realized just how easy it is to neglect a relationship and let it slip away.

I fell myself grow up a little bit already.

"I will miss you because you were once a part of my life, because you’re not here anymore and because it hurts."
thought catalog

There are still a lot of sleepless nights, tears and hurt.

"If its a broken heart, then face it"

you I have nothing to fear.

天要黑了嗎　要告別了嗎　能不能多留一下　別管那晚霞
反正我比你更熟悉那黑暗　沒有你陪　我也得回家
你不捨得嗎　你會想念嗎　如果想到我會哭　你會心疼嗎
有誰來教我　忘記你的方法　你的笑啊　和你的淚啊　還有血紅的晚霞

林宥嘉- 早開的晚霞

how's things at your side? I made myself pretty busy lately, which is a good thing. You've no idea how many times a day I just stared at my phone wanting to call you, but eventually nothing happens. When are you free/ not working? We need to talk. This sounds like a preempt to a breakup already, even though it technically isn't one. Sometimes when I rationally think about it, ending things is probably be the best way out for both of us, but that doesn't make things any easier, or less painful. This whole thing is slowly eating me up.

i'm so lost because i dont want to regret.

i want a new beginning, and i understand that i cannot have one until i settle my past and tie all the loose ends i have. but life just got a little bit more complicated after i come back.

Hey, uhm I'm back. I'm sorry I missed your two calls yst. It's not like I intentionally avoided the call, I just kinda didn't call back. That was really immature of me I'm sorry. A part of me is still really not ready to be back in Sg, and the two weeks away did gave me a lot of time to think about us. Right now my mind's in huge mess, and I've got so many jumbled up thoughts and feelings I need to straighten out. I wrote you a short letter while I was there, will scan and post it up to you abit later. Give me a little bit more time, maybe until the end of the week or something, will you? L

Will be back on the 28th.


love, take care when you're in KL. i'll see you when i/you/we get back.

--How do you love me? he asked, needing endless reassurance.
She thought for a moment, picked a piece of lint off her dress. Choosing her words carefully.
--I think of you constantly. I imagine a world in which we can be together. I regret not writting to you after the accident. I lie awake at night feeling you touch me. I believe we were meant to be together.
He drew a long breath.
--Is that enough? she asked.

Anita Shreve, The last time they met


I know I just saw you yesterday, but when will be the next time I see you again?

"You can love someone so much, he thought. But you can never love people as much as you can miss them."
John Green, An Abundance of Katherines


Last paper tml, then 9days to get-things-done-and-meetup-with-people before Vietnam trip.

I miss you so much love.

'As Dante wrote in The Divine Comedy: "The day that man allows true love to appear, those things which are well made will fall into confusion and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true." The world will become real when man learns how to love; until then we will live in the belief that we know what love is, but we will always lack the courage to confront it as it truly is.

Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaved us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.'
Coelho The Zahir

I like the idea that love never fails, that love conquers. Not sure if that's actually true, but even if it's not, it's possibly the most beautiful lie I would want to believe in.

Strength of tie = a + b1(amount of time) + b2(emotional intensity) + b3(intimacy, mutual confiding) + b4(reciprocal service)
Granovetter

I know that network(s) have its place and value in society but I really dislike the idea of reducing humane human relationships into numbers and equations and pure benefits. And when networks become a vehicle for inequality to reproduce, we have a problem.

"Articulacy of fingers, the language of the deaf and dumb, signing on the body body longing. Who taught you to write in blood on my back? Who taught you to use your hands as branding irons? You have scored your name on my shoulders, referenced me with your mark. The pads of your fingers have become printing blocks, you tap a message on to my skin, tap meaning into my body. Your morse code interferes with my heart beat. I had a steady heart before I met you, I relied upon it, it had seen active service and grown strong. Now you alter its pace with your own rhythm, you play upon me, drumming me taut."
Jeanette Winterson, Written on the body.

I can never get work done after seeing you ughhhh stupid brain

"He wasn't perfect or anything. He wasn't your fairy-tale prince charming or whatever. He tried to be like that sometimes, but I liked him best when that stuff fell away."
John Green, The fault in our stars

You said, "Why do I frighten you?"
Frighten me? Yes you do frighten me. You act as though we will be together for ever. You act as though there is infinite pleasure and time without end. How can I know that? My experience has been that time always ends. In theory you are right, the quantum physicists are right, the romantics and the religious are right. Time without end. In practice we both wear a watch. If I rush at this relationship it's because I fear for it. I fear that you have a door I cannot see and that any minute now the door will open and you'll be gone. Then what? Then what as I bang the walls like the Inquisition searching for a saint? Where will I find the secret passage? For me it'll just be the same four walls.

Jeanette Winterson, Written on the body

love,
happy birthday (again).
in the most imperfect and inarticulate way, i love you. L

hey
uhm. thanks for making my very terrible day a lot better.
very unproductive night, so far I'm still writing the first page of my int' security essay and watching girl with dragon tattoo because my brain cannot do any critical thinking. but that's okay, I'll will myself to start writing tml.
kkkkkkkkkkkk goodnight loverboy.

"Maybe it's more like you said before, all of us being cracked open. Like, each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And these things happen- these people leave us, or don't love us, or don't get us, or we don't get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel cracks open in places. And I mean, yeah, once the vessel cracks open, the end becomes inevitable.. but there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and when we finally fall apart. And it's only in that time that we can see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into others through theirs. When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that, we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get it. The light can get out."
John Green, Paper Towns

Love, please know that even when I don't write to you often, I've never let a day go by without thinking of you.
L

love, I need to see you soon. After wednesday, when all my papers will be done and everything, I really need to see you to talk talk. I may be teary-eyed and incoherent and filled with so much doubt, and I need you to quench all these insecurities, once and for all.
You have no idea how happy you make me feel. And so afraid at the same time.
L



B,
I don't know how to lose my best friend for the second time, I really don't.
I rebuild the best-friendship on the assumption that this will never happen again, that you will still be my best friend for the next ten year.
maybe I'm wrong.
and I cried after I hang up the phone and I've never felt so lost and exhausted before.
and I couldn't call you and talk to you like I used to.
I'm so sorry that I'm selfish and ignorant and oblivious
so uhm yeah
this is awkward

I Want To Snuggle With You
SEP. 14, 2011 By KARYN SPENCER


I want to snuggle with you. I’d like to lie on you and put my head on your shoulder and breathe in the same rhythm that you’re breathing. I want to use one of my hands to rub your head, down to your neck, then to your arm, and then hold your hand. I’d like to rest my other hand on your hipbone, which is my favorite part of your body because it’s a straight and bony hip, nothing like my curvy, soft one.

I’d like to stay there long enough so that our awkwardness goes away. I’d like to feel you give into the moment. Don’t ask yourself if this is too intimate. Don’t worry about sending me signals that you like me too much. Don’t think about what will happen with us tomorrow. Stop wondering if your team is winning and how much longer it will be until I get off of you so you can turn the game on.

Make a joke after a few moments of peace, one of those jokes that isn’t funny because of its sharp wit, but funny because it’s a comment on our current state, designed to make both of us ease further into the bubble of each other that we’re currently floating in. You could say something about how I’m as pale as the sheets, or how your pet is staring at us from the corner, or how the lady upstairs is walking like an elephant. And we’ll laugh together. Not the laugh that we shared in the bar with our friends. Not the laugh that comes when you watch an episode of Flight Of The Conchords. Not the laugh that you force when your boss says something mean. This will be the laugh that you saved just for me, the one that’s vulnerable and soft and sweet, because that’s how you’re feeling towards me right now. You won’t think about what I said last week that made you angry. You won’t feel guilty for that thing you did that I would be upset about if I knew. You won’t plan what you’re having for dinner tonight. You will soak the right now of this up. Our moment.

I’d like you to play with my hair. Don’t pat my head with a flat hand, put your fingers under my hair, on my scalp, and then run them through my hair like it’s a waterfall. Wrap both of your arms around me and give me a long, tight squeeze, the kind where in the last second, I need to inhale but I can’t. Then I’d like you to close your eyes, so I can prop myself over your face and study your features freely without you looking back at me. I want to kiss your jaw line, fondle your earlobes, sweep my cheek against yours. I want to stroke the slope of your nose and your eyelids and admire your eyelashes.

I’d like you to run your thumb over my lips. Cup my face with both of your hands. And I want you to kiss me. This will be a kiss that liquefies from light to deep and then back to light. A seemingly endless kiss that doesn’t lead to anything else. It doesn’t need to. We’ll share it simply to feel the warmth that it brings on its own. Then I want you to roll me over. Lie on top of me and hold our arms over our heads so that I can feel all of your weight, strong and heavy and masculine.

I want you to start at the beginning and do it again.

Just take 5minutes to seriously read this. i promise its a fantastic read.


"Convention for those wounded in love
by PAULO COELHO
 
General provisions:
 
A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;
 
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battlefield, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;  

It is hereby decreed that:  

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.  

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.  

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.  

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.  

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.  

Final determination: Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice. And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t."

Let me know when you're back cos a part of me will still worry about you.
Have fun eating amazing food and buying cheap stuff and taking a well deserved break 800 900 miles away from sg while i mug all through the weekends.
It've been a while, and I really need to catch you when you're back. Okay I just made it sound like you'll be away for a million years when it's only 3days. Silly me.


"Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a stranger,
Only to someone who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you." hafez

"Well, all I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me"

I've got a love letter drafted in my head, been kinda busy to write it out.
Being busy is such a lousy and unacceptable excuse. Sometimes i'm really mad at myself for using busy-ness as a convenient excuse, I mean I really am busy, but that doesn't make it okay. Ideally I should never be too busy for my favorite people, and you're one of them.
I should really get back to doing more readings and writing my essays. Maybe I'll write to you again later.
I miss you. I'm so sorry for last Saturday. I promise to make more time, somehow. We should go watch a movie. Thats the closest i can get to lying on your chest and listening to your heartbeat in the dark, which in my head is one of the most romantic little things ever.
okay back to getting more work done.

“Why do we have to listen to our hearts?” the boy asked, when they had made camp that day.

“Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.”

“But my heart is agitated,” the boy said. “It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it’s become passionate over a woman of the desert. It asks things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I’m thinking about her.”

“Well, that’s good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say.”

“My heart is a traitor,” the boy said to the alchemist, when they had paused to rest the horses. “It doesn’t want me to go on.”

“That makes sense. Naturally it’s afraid that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you’ve won.”

“Well, then, why should I listen to my heart?”

“Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. ”

“You mean I should listen, even if it’s treasonous?”

“Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heart well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you’ll know its dreams and wishes, and will know how to deal with them.

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

Coelho's The Alchemist

hey love, i hope your week ahead will be a good one. concentrate on being less exhausted and generally happier/ more fulfilled, at least that's what i've been trying to do. easier said than done though.
♥


"I wont give up on us
even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
to do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
to see what you find

cos even the stars they burn
some even fall to the earth
we've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it"

Mraz's I won't give up

When you meet someone
so different from yourself,
in a good way,
you don't even have to kiss
to have fireworks go off.
It's like fireworks
in your heart
all the time.
I always wondered,
do opposites really attract?
Now I know for sure
they do.

Lisa Schroeder

" But is heaviness truly deplorable and lightness splendid?
The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man's body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life's most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become.
Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden cause man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.
What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness? "
Kundera's The Unbereable Lightness of Being.

At twenty, I am sure I want lightness.
But, is it possible to have both?


I missed you, not the crazy kind of miss, but the genuine kind of miss. I want to talk to you, because I have no clue on what is going on in your life. I wonder if we can spend the whole afternoon talking about everything and nothing, while sipping coffee. I just read an article on how biking accidents are on a rise, so bike safe. I'm obviously incoherent, so g'night.

我们爱的没有错
只是美丽的独秀太折磨